i gave up everything for fame.

i love holidays.
i really do. my entire family comes home, and the house is in mass chaos. i love the sound of a million different conversations overlapping each other, and being drowned out by laughter. i love the random screaming and yelling of curse words, and everybody making weird faces. i love the sometimes stupid remarks we make, and the poking fun that follows after. i love sitting down, playing a stupid board game, but the game turning out to be fun because my family makes it that way. i love the constant ragging on each other that seems to happen.

it's fabulous.
happy holidays. (:

now my body's on the floor and i am calling out to you.

well, let's update, shall we?

remember those tickets to trans-siberian orchestra my boyfriend got me?
well yeah, on the supposed to be best day ever, i wrecked my car.
totaled it, in fact.

that shit's gone. lol.

i'm pretty good, no worries. i do have a bruise on my shin that refuses to go away, these two and half weeks later.
although it's amazing; i can still hear with perfect clarity the sounds of breaking glass and metal against rock.
i can still feel the shaking of the car as i flipped onto my roof.
and i can still see that rock coming towards me, one second too late.

i don't think that will ever leave my brain.

i don't dwell on this. it's not healthy. but cars do scare me shitless now.
i recently (as in this week) was forced to drive home by myself, for the first time.
i was hyperventilating the whole 14 minutes of the drive.
the second i got out of the car, i sobbed. truly sobbed. i have never before been able to say i've sobbed, until that day.

i try to make myself drive now.
i'm doing better.

but i will not forget.

i've got one hand in my pocket, and the other one is making a peace sign.

it's been awhile.
how are you, m'dears?
i'm pretty well, i must admit.

since the last time i talked to you, i:
fell in love with Edward Cullen
turned seventeen
bought a new purse
and grew an inch. i'm now 6'4".

just kidding about the growing part.
i'm forever stuck at 5'2 3/4".
Forever.


i ordered all the twilight books last week.
i just checked my email, they were delivered at 9:18 this morning.
how exciting! :D

i also ordered an Ipod FM converter for my car.
alas, it has not come in yet.

i'm going to the trans-siberian orchestra friday!!!
my boyfriend is the best; he got us tickets for my birthday, which, was sunday. thanks for the presents guys. "/
kidding. (:

its election day.
i know who i want.

McCain-Palin o8. :D